A distinct and inevitable truth in the human experience is pain. We may try to avoid it, or suppress it, but at the end of the day, we all know what it is to hurt. Whether it's self-imposed suffering (like negative thinking) or the product of things beyond our control (like a loss), we often find ourselves scrambling for relief.
While I can't promise a cure-all for emotional pain, I can suggest a proven countermeasure: gratitude. I know it seems incredibly difficult to consider that which you appreciate in the midst of pain, but I've learned that if you look hard enough, no matter the circumstance, you can find something. Maybe it's receiving comfort from a friend, maybe it's having a warm, cozy home, or maybe it's just noticing a nice breeze or a beautiful flower.
Don't feel like you know exactly what practicing gratitude means? That's OK. Studies have shown that we can learn to cultivate gratitude (and that doing so dramatically increases our happiness, health, energy, empathy and overall well-being). So let's talk about how to get started, shall we?
• Make It an Intentional, Daily Routine. Carve out some time each day to sit quietly for a few minutes. Consider several things for which you're grateful. You might even write them down in a journal.
• Look For What's Missing. When things aren't going well, it's easy to become black and white in our thinking (i.e. always/never, right/wrong). Gratitude helps us put things into perspective. If we can weigh the positive alongside the negative, it helps us to feel less stuck and hopeless.
• Let Yourself Be Amazed. Have you ever noticed that we often become desensitized to the many amazing things around us? The complexity of nature, the awe of technological advancement, the changes of a growing child. Eyes open! Take notice and take a few seconds to be grateful.
• Say It Out Loud. The expression of gratitude has been proven to have positive effects on the giver and receiver alike. We all enjoy feeling praised and valued by a compliment, but the giver (that's you!) also gains the benefit of feeling bonds and connections strengthened.
Remember, as with anything else, practice takes time and effort. Keep plugging away, and you'll soon see the benefits of incorporating gratitude into your everyday life.