Wow. This election cycle has been a beast. No matter where you reside on the political spectrum, chances are, you've had your share of anxiety and angst. We're engulfed. Whether it's binging on tv coverage or constantly scrolling through friends' commentary on Facebook, or attempting conversations with family, friends and co-workers, or even just tuning into the radio in the car -- many of us have hit our point of saturation. If this is true for you, it's probably time for some boundaries -- like, yesterday.
Many of us feel passionately about the direction of our country, and, indeed there is much to discuss. Even still, there are personal limits and the enduring need for self-care. There is a time to grapple and a time to lay it all down. Since our country is currently continually ablaze with debate, let's talk about cultivating some solace.
A few days after the election, I noticed that my body was physically sore from the absorption of so much emotional turmoil. My arms were aching, my head was pounding and I felt like I'd barely slept a wink, even when I'd gotten a full night's rest. I realized then that something had to give. A few things, in fact. That's when I considered my boundaries.
Yes, I know, the term, "boundary," is a very therapy-centric word -- one that often elicits at least a few eye rolls in a crowd. Perhaps its over-use has led to the misunderstanding that a "boundary" is a cold, hard line in the sand -- an unrelenting ultimatum of sorts. But, I see boundaries differently.
I see them as a kindness to ourselves, as they are based in our values and priorities. Take a second to think about what your most important priorities are. Your family? Your health? Your work? Your spirituality? Your sense of stability and safety? Your friends? Your personal growth? Your community? (The list could go on and on!) While items in the political sphere can also be extremely important and personal to us, I'll bet they don't stand alone in the bank of values and priorities you just considered. Balance is important.
Imagine a personal pie chart. Map out the pieces you'd like to give your attention to. (No really, grab a piece of paper and a pencil.) Here's an example:
Now that you know where your priorities lie, think about how you can contain each of them. If you're working too much and aren't making enough time for family, your boundaries are out of whack. If your focus on social justice matters prevents you from getting adequate sleep, your boundaries are out of whack. If you have no time for your friends... you get the picture. Be intentional. Set aside specific time for each piece in your chart and do your best not to let them bleed over into one another. Be sure to factor in sleep and downtime and leisurely fun. Of course, we must allow for some flexibility, as life is never this simple. But having a plan that considers all the essential, moving parts and their respective places, prevents us from spreading ourselves too thin. It also helps us to say, "no" when we already have a full plate or are at emotional capacity.
Now, if consuming political material is not the bulk of your pie chart, and yet it's where much of your energy is going, consider what you can do differently. Hiatus from the news? Politely letting co-workers know you'd rather not join in the water cooler debate? Deleting the Facebook App from your phone for a week? Scheduling dinner with friends? Leaning into that creative project you've been meaning to launch? Listening to an audio book in the car instead of local radio? The options are plentiful. It's just a matter of being aware of and intentional about the things that are most important. Fight the good fight if that's your gig, but make time for the other stuff (like your own well-being) too. Start the challenge today!
